Tumblr Advice

I have access to my boss’ email accounts. I was setting up some stuff, and I saw his search history. A lot of it was for porn. This disturbs and bothers me. I know that it is normal for people to look at porn, but… I don’t know, I just can’t stop it from bothering me. Perhaps it is because I know his wife? I don’t know what to do or think. :\ I’m obviously not going to say anything to him or his wife but… how do *I* deal with it?

That disturbed feeling is completely normal. It’s kind of like when I get bothered by my friends having sex with each other. It’s a natural and sometimes “beautiful” thing but it just sometimes irks me for no reason. I definitely think that you knowing his wife could be a huge contribution to your bothersome feelings. I also think that you are unintentionally making yourself unselfconsciously believe that maybe him looking at porn is equivalent to cheating. I think you should just remember that porn just builds fantasy. People will fantasize about many things in all categories of life. Some fantasize about money and others fantasize about sex. You should also be aware that you don’t know their sex life at home. People, especially men basically need sex and if they don’t get it then they might feel deprived. I think it’s better to have him look at porn for a few minutes than to go out and commit infidelity.

I’m in love with a guy who can’t commit. We dated for about five months, then things started going downhill. We have amazing chemistry, and we’re still best friends. He admitted that he loves me too. Do you think he’s honest about his commitment issues, or is he just taking me for granted?

Unless there are signs of him that may seem like he would take you for granted, I would trust him. If it seems like he only wants one thing then there is a big possibility that he is just using you but if he actually treats you like a girlfriend then I wouldn’t worry. I think if you think about this situation too much then you are constantly going to assume the worst.

This isn’t really a concern or a question but I just wanna say that it’s really nice of you to help people by giving them advice. I understand feeling lost and frustrated, not wanting to even seek a friend out for advice. Sometimes it’s better to seek a stranger’s advice because then they wouldn’t be so biased. You’re doing a good thing here. I wish I had found you a lot earlier when I was in a dark place. You are very mature for your age and that is a rare quality nowadays. Keep up the good work!

Thank you very much. I appreciate all the kind words.

I’m the one who posted the story about the Kevin guy. I don’t know much to really elaborate on.

The Kevin I thought I knew, is actually his real life friend, Steph. As in, Kevin and Steph are the same people online. But on facebook, it’s the REAL Kevin, as in the person “Online Kevin” was based on. Steph is in Bermuda, and she doesn’t know that I found out any of this. I really want to talk to the REAL Kevin, and actually get to know him, but if I try to, I’m sure he’ll ask how I know Steph, and I don’t want to get her or myself into trouble. Even though Steph pretended to be Kevin, she’s still my best friend, and I don’t want to ruin the REAL Kevin and Steph’s friendship. Either way, I want to talk to the REAL Kevin just to see if he’s anything like the one Steph portrayed. But like I said, Steph might get mad or in trouble. So, I don’t know what to do. Talk to him and take a chance? Or no?

How would you know what the real Kevin is like? It seems that you liked Kevin when he was played by Steph. So in reality, you liked Steph’s personality. I would take the chance to talk to the real Kevin but if I were you then I would prepare myself for anything. He may not be the person you thought he would be. However, he maybe that person and more. I would confront Steph about pretending to be Kevin because it is a little strange. It seems like she was playing you and you fell for it. What if you were to say more intimate things then you probably did? That would have been more embarrassing.

okay… Two days ago I found out that one of my bestfriends likes the same guy I do. We talked about it and she says that I could keep him! Not trying to sound like he’s a toy or anything but I hope you know what I mean! She said that she knows that I really like him and that he might like me back! She also said that the only reason she likes him was because he is pretty! Now I’m afraid to like him because of her.. I don’t want to ruin anything with her.. But I also really like him. I know friends come first but I’m stuck betweeen the middle? What should I do?

I really don’t see where the problem is in this situation. You’re best friend said that you could have the chance to be with him instead of her and I would definitely take her word for it. I think it’s okay for friends to think that each other’s crushes and what not are attractive. On the other hand, there is a limit that needs to be justified. If you notice that she is talking to him a lot or obviously flirting then you should confront her about it.

How do you tell the different between 1/2” and 9/16” bike pedals? Im so lost..

I’m not 100% sure myself but I think you can always go to a bike shop and they should be able to explain the difference.

Hi Anthony! Can I ask a question first then ask for advice after you answered it? My question is, if somebody you know has a huge crush on you and she adds you on facebook, will you accept it? If your classmate has this huge crush on you, will you ask her to play table tennis with you? Kinda school girl questions but I’ll really appreciate it if you’ll answer. I need a male perspective. Thanks! :)

1. I don’t see why I wouldn’t add her. I guess the only risk would be that she possibly be over analyzing my profile.

2. I would but if I didn’t like her in return I wouldn’t want to make her feel like I’m leading her on.

Tradition has taught us that boys always make the first moves in a relationship. I like a guy and we aren’t together or anything but when his arms are around me I feel something, something real. Would it be bad if I attempted to initiate a kiss?

Well I don’t think it would be a bad idea but you might not want to rush into something like that so quickly. Maybe find out if he actually likes you first. If he does then lead by example. Do a little something and in return he will do a little something more. Follow that and in no time you two should be locking lips :)

Anthony, I am so fed up with myself and my life. I do the same shit everyday, I live a pathetic lifestyle and I’m too stubborn to change it. I hate myself; my personality, my looks. I hate my friends, I hate my family. I would rather sit home alone everyday then go out and surround myself with people. I don’t want to start school and I cry when I think about it. I’m hoping I’ll die before august 31st so I don’t have to go and so I don’t have to deal with being an adult. All I’m doing is waiting to die because everyday will be exactly the same if I continue to live. I want to get help but at the same time I don’t because I know once I talk to a “professional” I’ll sit there with nothing to say, pretending everything is alright. And even if I told my mother that I needed help she would laugh it off. Everything I tell her, she uses against me. Which is why I NEVER have a full conversations with her. I can’t stand to make eye contact with her either. She scares the shit out of me and I don’t like her at all. The only people I can stand in my family are my sisters, but I can’t even talk to them because I feel so awkward saying anything to them. I don’t even like saying “Hi.” I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I wish I could fix me.

One thing that I noticed is that you seem to be fully aware of the things that are supposedly wrong with you. Admitting that you are this way will make it a tad bit easier to change. Now you have to ask yourself why you think this way. What is making you feel like you are worthless? Even though family is supposed to be there for you they sometimes aren’t and that is just reality. I think you should build a confidence level and work from there. You could achieve that by looking out for yourself more. Do more things that are going to make you happy. Take note that it doesn’t necessarily have to be doing stuff at home. Leave your house! Take walks outside and get inspired. From there you’ll start to realize your personality and attitude changing. People believe that others are always going to remain the way they are and are not going to change. Trust me that’s not true. Hopefully you can overcome these bad feelings and I only wish you the best.

Hi. Is it okay if i ask for any ideas? We have this project in school called “Project Halo”. Our goal is to spread happiness through random acts of kindness on strangers and we need to take a video of it. We thought maybe we could share our umbrellas to people during a rainy day or maybe give flowers to people passing by the street, you know, just to brighten their day. Well, do you have any ideas? It’s okay cause I’ll appreciate anything. Thanks.

I think the umbrella idea is a very good one. So many people are always forgetting and it seems like people would appreciate it very much. Maybe you could also give free car washes? Since times are tough right now, the last thing on someone’s list of purchases is most likely a car wash. It would be a nice gesture and I’m sure all the different people would think highly on your act of kindness.